Why does the Pope have Swiss guards?

July 19, 2011

Swiss guard photo copyright J. K. Swift

You gotta be tough to dress like this. Why does the Pope have Swiss guards anyway?

This question kept nipping away at the back of my mind and was really the instigating force behind me writing The Forest Knights books (ALTDORF & MORGARTEN). I mean look at this guy–he’s dressed like a Smurf. How did they ever become the Pope’s elite bodyguard?

The answer you will most often hear is because they are “neutral”, peace-loving. They don’t take sides.

Ahh, that’s nice. The friendly, peace-loving mountain people are neutral. They don’t want to hurt anyone.

Unless you try to cross their border.

…by 1912 the Swiss Army included 281,000 men and could call on an additional 200,000 auxiliary troops…Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany visited Switzerland that year. As the Kaiser observed Swiss army maneuvers, Swiss President Ludwig Forrer told his guest that “we have the resolute intention of protecting our independence against any attack on this [land], our dearest possession, and of upholding our neutrality against anyone who fails to respect it.” In a conversation depicted on a contemporary post-card, the Kaiser queried what the quarter of a million Swiss Army would do if faced with an invasion of half a million Germans. A Swiss militiaman replied, “Shoot twice.”

– Target Switzerland: Swiss Armed Neutrality In World War II , by Stephen P. Halbrook

This “shoot twice and go home” mentality has been around a long time in Switzerland. Swiss Guards have been protecting the Pope since 1506. By that time the Swiss were the most sought after mercenaries in  Europe. They revolutionized the use of the pike and halberd in the medieval age and some even say they invented these weapons.

How did they become so skilled? Switzerland in the medieval period was overcrowded to the point that the farms could not support them. And since chocolate had not been invented yet, the Swiss government formed mercenary forces, which it hired out to neighboring warmongers. For a handsome profit, of course. Their clients included, Venice, Milan, the Papacy, France, Spain and even Henry VIII of England (to protect him from his wives no doubt).

The mercenaries had four rules written into every contract:

1. Swiss don’t fight Swiss. If the other side already has Swiss mercenaries, you can’t hire us.

2. At harvest time we go back home to cut hay and drink kirsch.

3. “Point d’argent, point de Suisse“–No money, no Swiss. Pay us or we leave today.

4. Don’t laugh at our clothes.

I may have trouble identifying my historical source for that 4th point.